you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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