I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
