Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My dick has a subreddit
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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