I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize