I must be too annoying 4 u.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
