dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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