I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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