I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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