we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
