what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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