your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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