i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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