Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
