I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
