My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
