fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
