never play flip cup with pint glasses
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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