apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
