whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I need water and some morals
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
