every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
