i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
