dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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