a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
