I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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