By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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