The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
