I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
