I just saw a hot homeless man
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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