You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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