I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
