True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i've created a new STD.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
