what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
