YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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