oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
