You just made me feel so damn special
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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