i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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