I want to make a zoo with you.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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