I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
