16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
