FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
40s are totally the cure
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
