I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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