suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
