I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize