a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize