So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
