Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
