ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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