I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
