Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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