Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
