READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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