It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
