I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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