At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
