i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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