Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
