Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
