yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
