Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
