We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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