You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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