oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
