he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
handjob tips. give me some.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
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