Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She needs sedatives and a leash
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
