I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
