like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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