what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
