My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
