my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Will exercising make me less horny?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize