I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
