bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
