I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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