I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
babies were throwing up all over the place
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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