I seem to have left my pride at pride
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
