We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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