His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
