Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
