he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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