Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
