I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
